Send Your Replies to Coper

Hi Coper,

I strongly believe in journaling. Before Incorporation I would write page after page.

Ideally a therapist's help would be most beneficial. It might take the fright out of your achieving coconsciousness.

I used to split during times of stress also. The more stress that was going on the longer the blackout I had. Again, a therapist can help you with this. The longest time I was gone was 2 weeks. It really freaked me out.

You can talk to the little ones without knowing who they are. I did it all of the time to all my alters. I only knew that there were children because of memories I had.

Good luck Coper,
Mary G.


Dear Coper,

Even though I have gone through all the integrations with MPD, I still feel like I'm not here or real alot of the time. It seems to get worse when I'm stressed. But I am aware of the problem now, clearer than it used to be. Being aware of it, I seem to be able to try and control it a little at times. I, too, always felt "gone" and inhuman. I still feel gone at times now, but I know it comes when I need it, so I'm becoming alright with it. All my life I'd always felt inhuman. I assumed it was because of how my abusers treated me. The other night I was listening to a song, which had a sentence that said " I am human." For the first time in my life, it hit me- I am human. I am still not fully grasping that thought yet. To me, it's mind boggling. But I work with the thought many times a day, and it's slowly starting to sink in. I am human. Not sub- human, but I am human. It's something most people take for granted. But I can definitely relate to how you feel. Let me tell you- You are an awesome human. We all are.
I started attending a Celebrate Recovery group. It's helping me heal from old hurts, but it helps with other problems, too. I see a therapist, also.
Hope this helps.

Debbie E.


Dear Coper,

The best way to learn more about co-consciousness & how to increase your ability to be co-conscious is to consult an experienced therapist who works with trauma.

When I was in therapy, I increased my co-consciousness considerably by journalling. In a journal you can
write comforting, reassuring messages to all your alters & they can reply. (sometimes the replies will be angry or dismissive or very sad. you've got to be strong when you read some of the 'nasty' replies & understand that the
part which is replying is hurt & scared & is just lashing out. Although sometimes even an angry reply has some important truth  in it for you to consider.)

I use a simple full-size 3 ring binder, & cheap lined paper, & I write, write, write. The good part about writing down your comforting messages (& the responses you get from insiders) is that you can re-read it at a later date & remind yourself about what you said & how you felt.

I'm sure other readers will have additional ideas about encouraging co-consciousness. Good luck!

Hi Coper, 

I do believe also that journaling is a wonderful way to get to know everyone and they get to know you.  It feels funny and sometime fake at first because most of us have that alter who has protected us with the denial for many years about who we really were on the inside, so don't let that stop you.  The others simply reading your words is enough to comfort them.  I personally don't have the group pow wows that many others talk about having.  We each experience this in our own way and there is not right or wrong to feel it. 

        Second thing to try to remember is that I and many others also worried about what would happen to a loved one if a trigger happened like you described. It was my experience that when it came to those I really loved, like my children, the same triggers didn't set me off.  The mother or responsible ones always took care of things. There were times when I would "wake up" after being gone for days and things would be ok.  I've pretty much heard the same stories from others over these years, so relax your mind about that. 

      I found that once I relaxed and just let myself be I was better able to realize and become more co-conscious.  Yes, and there were times when I was the back seat driver and didn't like the direction someone was going, but in time you learn how to keep yourself safer and somehow it just starts to work.  If any of us could really pin how that happens we'd be making the Big Bucks, instead of the centers which still don't really get it most days. 

    Good luck and keep asking questions.  That's how we learn.  There are many groups on line to get involved with and there are no questions that haven't been asked before so be brave. 

Lady J