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Hi Pat.

When I first started into therapy, I seriously, didn't even think about how I'd pay for help. Luckily, the place I chose had a sliding scale fee, based on my income, when I was working. After I was diagnosed with DID/MPD, I decided to file for disability and was approved. I haven't worked since then. I just have to be very careful about what I spend my money on and try to squeeze by. I feel I wouldn't have gotten better if I had kept working, because I wouldn't have been able to work as hard as I did in therapy.
People have always judged me for being on disability. I have been told by people, that no one should be on disability, unless they can't breathe on their own. People have been verbally abusive to me because I'm on disability. People are always griping that it's not fair that they have to work, when I don't work yet I still get money. That used to bother me alot, til someone pointed out to me that I need to look at everything I endured that made me disabled. And that I should tell these people they should spend a day in my shoes, enduring what I go through. That helped me feel better about it. I've had people treat me like I have no brain, because I'm disabled. People have treated me like they could say or do whatever they want and I wouldn't be aware of it, because they think disability means I'm stupid. They just have no idea what abuse survivors went through and still go through. I agree with you, that those who abuse should have to go through a week in our lives. So many times I've heard people say that abuse does no damage. I totally disagree with that. I had people tell me that I had flashbacks because I enjoyed them. People just have no idea of what they're saying. I think people need to be better educated about all these things. I always have tried to live by the "Do unto others as you'd have them do to you." Abuse doesn't fall in place with that. I definitely agree with you that abusers should have to live our lives awhile- the fear, the flashbacks, the effects of it all. Totally agree with you.

Take care.
Debbie E.


  I want to thank all who replied to my question.
This process is hard.  I live on disability and know people judge me because I have to have this help right now.  If I could work I would.
 In therapy we have made progress.  Still a lot of work to do.
 I struggle to make it every month.  Yes I do worry about the effects of this process.  Both emotionally and financial.  This new medicaid/medicare thing is challenging.
 We are taking one step at a time.  Understanding what has happened to each part inside.  Understanding the abuse, the effects and new ways to deal with it.
 Sometimes I feel like -- what is the point?  But we keep going.
 Some day it is our dream to get a job and be normal.  But I also realize after we get to that point, we will still be picking up the pieces of this process.
 I wish all those people who abuse kids would live a week in our life and understand the effect they are having on kids.  Then maybe they would change the way they treat kids.




Dear Pat,

Therapy is very expensive.  I have had insurance but have used up total number of sessions half way thru year or insurance. only paid half of the fee, etc.  I have taken up house/dog sitting for people who go on vacation, out of town on business, etc.  Charge 25.00 per day. I stay at their house if it's a dog or if they are extreme cat people that want you to stay there.  They also sometimes supply food, plus staying at someone elses house feels like a vacation to me.  I do this in addition to my fulltime job. Things have just always somehow worked out.  My therapist is also very committed to working with me and walking beside me on my journey so she has reduced payments at times, etc....

good luck - it's not easy!!!!  i have spent anywhere from 3 to 8 thousand a year in therapy depending on the year.




Dear Pat,
I am also glad you mentioned the topic of money for therapy.  Learning to live a healthy and better life for yourself is NOT cheap, by no means.  I was referred to one of the best psychologists in our area . He has dealt with D.I.D. besides going out of his way to attend workshops (which were mentioned in Many Voices).  He is very wise and very expensive.  Sometimes I wonder what others pay for therapy throughout the United States and/or other areas.

I am fortunate to have a wonderful husband with insurance.  I do battle with the insurance company many times, as they do not like to hold up their end of the policy.  I pay the whole bill then submit it to the insurance company.  I do not understand why it takes so long for them to send me the part that is covered.  Regardless, in New York State, they have a program called Crime Victims.  This, too, is an extremely long process.  First you must obtain a police report stating your situation.  I found this difficult and upsetting as it had to contain full details of my past.  Then, a form from Crime Victims, along with a copy of the police report is sent to the state.  After a long wait, it get reviewed to see if the client can get compensated for out of pocket expenses.  Sometimes, the state will send the client to a psychiatrist for a second opinion; which again is mentally exhausting. 

If approved, copies of all therapy (also prescriptions and physician insurance statements, if pertaining to prescribing medication for anxiety, depression, etc.) will be submitted to the Crime Victims Headquarters to which you are assigned.  They eventually send a check for out-of-pocket expenses; which takes usually 8 to 12 months.

Though the process is long and difficult keeping track of all bills, it is worth it.  I feel like I am getting some of my tax dollars back.
There may be different types of programs, as mentioned above, in most states.  The problems with this is the opportunities do not come to you.
Unfortunately, you must seek them out.  It takes a great deal of digging to find these opportunities.

Good Luck and Thanks for a Great Topic,


Dear Pat,

Finding the money to pay for therapy is very hard. I'm single and pretty much on my own. When I was going through the most difficult part of therapy, I wound up working extra jobs to pay for it. I was lucky, because I was able to get work then, that paid decently. And I was stable enough to keep working. But I still owed thousands of dollars for a long time. I never really got out of the hole, to be honest. I paid my therapist. But I was always in debt, for years and years.

Finally a couple years ago I went bankrupt. I hated to do it, but I'd lost pretty much everything -- I'd sold my house to pay for bills. & my job got screwed up. I used credit cards to "keep afloat," to pay rent, health insurance, gasoline, food. Thinking a new job would come in time to get me out of trouble. It had worked out before, but this time it didn't happen. I just got dug deeper and deeper in debt. I still had some credit lines when I finally went to an attorney to find out what to do. He took one look at my situation and said "Stop right now. Stop borrowing on your credit cards. You've got to go bankrupt and then you've got to live within your means." He showed me what I had to earn to cover my bills. So I went bankrupt. And I got some work. I'm trying to live within my means. But it is very very hard.

Maybe you can find an extra way to earn money. That's what I'm trying to do. I wish there was an answer for people like us who are trying really hard, but we're just not making it. There are a lot of us, even people without mental health problems are having trouble. At least we're not alone.

Good luck to you. Write here if you find a good way to earn something extra. And thanks for asking the question and helping us talk about it out in the open. I've never been able to talk about it in public before.