Send Your Replies to N

If you have found a successful way to manage your addiction to alcohol outside AA, please respond!


Hi, N.,

I am very much NOT a twelve-step person and was fortunate to find SMART Recovery. It has face-to-face meetings in many areas, and meetings online every day, as well as chat, forums, and a whole section of tools. SMART emphasizes rational emotive behavioral therapy, looking at alcohol and drug abuse as a choice rather than a disease. I strongly urge you to check out and wish you the best in your progress.



Hi N.,

When my father died, he had 36 years of sobriety. He did this through AA. He volunteered to work with prisoners, homeless shelters. Let's just say he truly shared honestly with those who wanted to be sober. He also had the same sponsor all of those years. As time goes by your sponsor becomes your friend but will say something if need be. In the beginning your sponsor wants to make sure you tow the line. My dad told me that there are times when you need to change sponsors. Maybe there is another person with enough sobriety that you admire and want what they have. You choose a sponsor usually when you are first entering the program and your head's not on straight.

My father also used his faith in God and played the organ for his church. He had a strong faith before he became sober.

I'm not an alcoholic, but I was as involved with my father's sobriety as a person can get. I hoped this helped you even a little.

Mary G.

Hi N.

Our church and alot of other churches host a weekly Celebrate Recovery Group. It's like AA, but adds the Christian point of view to it. I go to it, to help heal from past abuse issues, but it also covers hang ups, hurts, drug or alcohol addictions. There are different groups for each issue. They follow the 12 step program, but the atmosphere is unique. I find it very beneficial. It meets for two hours once a week. Ours starts off with prayer, songs, reading the twelve steps, and serenity prayer. Then there's a break, followed up by group time. If you have access to a computer, search under Celebrate Recovery, and it should tell you where groups meet locally in your area. I find it to be a very healing place.

Debbie E.



Dear N.,

If you are a real alcoholic, AA is the best program for recovery. As far as a Sponsor, each one sponsors differently. I have been sober for over 15 years and I had a sponsor whose job was to work herself OUT of a job. Since then, this is how I sponsor.

The only steps that require another person is the 5th and the 9th Steps. The rest is between you and your Higher Power.

The most important decision you have to make is whether or not you have had your last drink. I don't go by this One Day At A Time thing, because I needed to change my entire life, not just this one day.

After the decision as to whether or not you have had your last drink forever, the rest of the program will fall into place, as long as you stay close to the Big Book and meetings. And even in meetings you will find that many have no clue as to what they are talking about. That is why the Big Book is the Compass to a new life.

I didn't even get a Sponsor until I got the the 5th Step and needed her to look over my 8th Step before I started to make amends.

Some people learn that they are NOT alcoholics. This may be you. It was not me. I didn't know how to live sober and I did not know how to live drunk. This is what made me crumble and decide that maybe I needed to do things differently, like listening to others who had dug themselves out of the pit.

I wish you the best in your journey.