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Hi there, well guess what, practise makes perfect.....so, I have learned to practise rewards to everyone who are a part of my system. If I need to have the discipline (which is rough for us as we are so scattered) to clean the house, or do certain chores, the rewards are offerred - I listen to "everyone" and ask, what will it take to get us all to finish painting the bathroom or washing the floors, or whatever it is....I will get answers when I pay attention. A doll, or a movie, or even Popeye Chicken - a drive up AIA and eating breakfast on the beach. I listen more and more to my inner self and allow the rewards to be a part of my life. WHen I grew up disappointment was so much a part of my psyche I continued the pattern. Now I will not do that to me every again. Of course the requests need to be reasonable in every way but they always are. I am not out to hurt myself I am here to be a friend, a mentor, a mom a dad, trustworthy and I say what I mean, and mean what I say, to all of "me". That is about the best I can offer and I do hope it helps, from:
all of us
You ask a question that so many of us ask after years and what sometimes seems a life time working and working to make sense of it all. Then we wake up one morning and it didn't matter anymore.
Do we still have those days of gloom and doom? Yeh, but they go away after the day is done. I know now that tomorrows always come. What so many of us do now is talk online to others in groups to share those moments and encourage others that there is a life after diagnosis. After years of reading and posting in these groups I sometimes just take a break and work on writing my own story. I have a couple of private groups made up of those special people I have met on the web where we joke and where we celebrate each other as the family we never had growing up.
I have one group that is just three of us who are all dissociate/multiple who have known each other since high school and we are able to share our lives with each other like no one else can. My oldest daughter has just joined us in some work I'm doing for a journal. She is allowed to talk about her own childhood and what it felt like to grow up with a mother who was untreated and undiagnosed. It will be great for other children to be able to read how she felt then and how she feels now. The validation that so few of us every get to hear or share with our parents and family of origin.
Most of us don't have a lot of face to face friends to confide in and be able to have them understand our world. If you haven't already start looking for groups online that have a positive message that you like to hear about. There are many out here, you just need to look for them. Once you find a few people who you can relate to start your own group with these people. It's a wonderful experience. Good luck and trust that there are others out here who want what you want today.